Sail this night

I've learned over the past year that salt baths are sometimes all you can manage in the depths. I cannot even tell you how many bags of Ancient Minerals Forest Calm Magnesium Bath Flakes I have purchased.

There's a song from years ago that came to me in the bath this past week. "Sail this night," the lyrics went. "Just let it take you."

Grief can feel like sailing a very unpredictable ocean. Sometimes I feel like a machine that has a lot of new (and old) data to process. A machine that is forced to idle until all of the data processing is complete. This loss called for an entire reset. Going to where I needed to be required incredible strength. 

I feel with not just loss, but with this disease, you are forced to intensely reflect on where you are. 95% of people with this illness have the choice to walk away from it. I believe in God and that there is always a higher force trying to steer you to where you belong. I've talked about this a lot on here - complete surrender at the point of no return. I only feel blessed to be given the opportunity to sail a tumultuous sea if it's leading me to where I'm truly supposed to be.

It will take a while
To make you smile
Somewhere in these eyes
I’m on your side

…Fall back into place